Post by Blue Ridge Runner on Feb 23, 2006 20:23:34 GMT -5
The Legacy Of "Mudslide"
by Bill "Willynuff" Miller
In everyone's eyes we have to have a hero. It's gotta be that way! Someone we see in our fantasy as being able to do anything and everything we always wanted to do; someone to take up the slack, slam and bang and live all the dreams and adventures we always wanted to do. That someone could be MUDSLIDE, the ultimate ATV enthusiast. Told for the first time, here is his story. Hope you enjoy!!
Once upon a time, a long long time ago - way back when cavemen started to roll rocks, MUDSLIDE's ancestors realized there had to be a better way to have fun on a sunny afternoon. After all, rolling rocks was ok, I mean it consumed an afternoon of fresh air and offered good companionship. The MUDSLIDE had lots of friends that liked to roll rocks; most were the macho type dudes that had little to do with their time except think of ways to out do one another. It started out a guy thing or so the story goes - way back when!!
Some of the more ingenious dudes, MUDSLIDE being the obvious instigator of the group, started wrapping banana leaves around their heads to keep the bugs off and offer some protection from bopping low tree branches. MUDSLIDE of course found rolling rocks take a bounce and of course found himself on the receiving end of many a bop on the head. Our boy was no dummy, He would never roll rocks without his banana wrap.
Anyhow, or so the story got passed down from one generation to the next, MUDSLIDE got to thinking about how he could roll rocks faster than the other dudes, and being the competitive type of dude he was, figured a way to mount a tree branch across two rocks. Round rocks roll much better but our hero would never disclose this to some of his thicker friends. Ok, guys being guys and trying to out do each other, somebody figured out a way to mount a second set of rocks in front of the first set and placed a couple tree branches across the two. In a primitive kind of way the dude made him a rolling something or other. You gotta remember, way back then, nobody had names for things, just pointed and grunted.
This is where it gets good, MUDSLIDE picked the strongest of his many wives to push this thing, He'd sit on the tree branches and kind of steered it as he rolled down the hill. You suspect where this is going, don't you? Well low and behold MUDSLIDE's buddy's saw this thing and of course as all good dudes go, they had to have one for their own selves. Competition being what it is among primitive dudes, each tried to outdo the other. One would have a faster Thingamajig, then another would have one with bigger, taller and wider rocks. Yet another would hook a grape vine to the back and take turns pulling his buddy's out of precarious places. All this led to innovations such as wiping dinosaur lard on the axles, extra stacks of banana leaves to sit on (softens the ride) and above all, led to competition as to who had the strongest pushers. MUDSLIDE was known to keep his wives strong and healthy. Then, somewhere along in time, the term HORSEPOWER got started, but it beats the heck out of me why these early dudes would call their wives horses or whatever.
Mudslide often hooked up ol dino and had him pull his whatchamacallit or thingamajig (depending on the model) back up the hill. Obviously this started something because ol Dude Guy had to have a better rig, so he mounted extra wheels on his hauler. Even mounted something on the back that pointed straight up. Dude Guy thought this up himself, and by laying it down made it easier to roll the thingamajig up on the hauler thingamabob. Next thing you know everybody has got a super duper riding machine and a new fangled hauler.
Somewhere much later in time - Another generation of MUDSLIDE pulled out a old lawnmower motor and stuck it under the seat of his Whatchamacallit. What's next in the theory of evolution? You guessed it. Dude boy from up the hollow had to better him one so he went out and spent the rent and baby's milk money and got a bigger lawnmower, stripped the motor and - yea right, mounted it in his Thingamajig. One thing leads to another and these good ol boys are cutting trails up and down the meadow, up the mountain and across the freshly plowed fields. Competition being what it is among good ol boys, Dude Boy and MUDSLIDE started having races and seeing who could ride in the worst possible mud hole. Only problem was Dude Boy and MUDSLIDE's wives soon put a stop to this because the beans were not getting picked and they just flat out got tired of taking those muddy old clothes down to the creek and beating the mud out with a rock.
Next thing you know Mrs. MUDSLIDE has had enough of this staying home, washing clothes, cooking and doing dishes - so - She and Mrs. Dude Boy take off riding. Ever since that time women have been equally involved in riding. If it is any consolation, MUDSLIDE, Dude Boy and the rest of the good ol boys still get together to talk about the "good ol times" and stretch the truth about getting vertical, grabbing air, slinging mud and other tall tales as only a good ol boy would understand.
Sometime not long after MUDSLIDE got the bright idea of forming a club and giving these Whatchamacallit's a name. Lemme think now, what did he call them? ATV's ?
Amphibious
Terribly frustrating but fun
Volumes of tall tales to outdo other dudes tall tales.
Lets face it, nobody ever accused MUDSLIDE of being the brightest star in the sky!!
by Bill "Willynuff" Miller
In everyone's eyes we have to have a hero. It's gotta be that way! Someone we see in our fantasy as being able to do anything and everything we always wanted to do; someone to take up the slack, slam and bang and live all the dreams and adventures we always wanted to do. That someone could be MUDSLIDE, the ultimate ATV enthusiast. Told for the first time, here is his story. Hope you enjoy!!
Once upon a time, a long long time ago - way back when cavemen started to roll rocks, MUDSLIDE's ancestors realized there had to be a better way to have fun on a sunny afternoon. After all, rolling rocks was ok, I mean it consumed an afternoon of fresh air and offered good companionship. The MUDSLIDE had lots of friends that liked to roll rocks; most were the macho type dudes that had little to do with their time except think of ways to out do one another. It started out a guy thing or so the story goes - way back when!!
Some of the more ingenious dudes, MUDSLIDE being the obvious instigator of the group, started wrapping banana leaves around their heads to keep the bugs off and offer some protection from bopping low tree branches. MUDSLIDE of course found rolling rocks take a bounce and of course found himself on the receiving end of many a bop on the head. Our boy was no dummy, He would never roll rocks without his banana wrap.
Anyhow, or so the story got passed down from one generation to the next, MUDSLIDE got to thinking about how he could roll rocks faster than the other dudes, and being the competitive type of dude he was, figured a way to mount a tree branch across two rocks. Round rocks roll much better but our hero would never disclose this to some of his thicker friends. Ok, guys being guys and trying to out do each other, somebody figured out a way to mount a second set of rocks in front of the first set and placed a couple tree branches across the two. In a primitive kind of way the dude made him a rolling something or other. You gotta remember, way back then, nobody had names for things, just pointed and grunted.
This is where it gets good, MUDSLIDE picked the strongest of his many wives to push this thing, He'd sit on the tree branches and kind of steered it as he rolled down the hill. You suspect where this is going, don't you? Well low and behold MUDSLIDE's buddy's saw this thing and of course as all good dudes go, they had to have one for their own selves. Competition being what it is among primitive dudes, each tried to outdo the other. One would have a faster Thingamajig, then another would have one with bigger, taller and wider rocks. Yet another would hook a grape vine to the back and take turns pulling his buddy's out of precarious places. All this led to innovations such as wiping dinosaur lard on the axles, extra stacks of banana leaves to sit on (softens the ride) and above all, led to competition as to who had the strongest pushers. MUDSLIDE was known to keep his wives strong and healthy. Then, somewhere along in time, the term HORSEPOWER got started, but it beats the heck out of me why these early dudes would call their wives horses or whatever.
Mudslide often hooked up ol dino and had him pull his whatchamacallit or thingamajig (depending on the model) back up the hill. Obviously this started something because ol Dude Guy had to have a better rig, so he mounted extra wheels on his hauler. Even mounted something on the back that pointed straight up. Dude Guy thought this up himself, and by laying it down made it easier to roll the thingamajig up on the hauler thingamabob. Next thing you know everybody has got a super duper riding machine and a new fangled hauler.
Somewhere much later in time - Another generation of MUDSLIDE pulled out a old lawnmower motor and stuck it under the seat of his Whatchamacallit. What's next in the theory of evolution? You guessed it. Dude boy from up the hollow had to better him one so he went out and spent the rent and baby's milk money and got a bigger lawnmower, stripped the motor and - yea right, mounted it in his Thingamajig. One thing leads to another and these good ol boys are cutting trails up and down the meadow, up the mountain and across the freshly plowed fields. Competition being what it is among good ol boys, Dude Boy and MUDSLIDE started having races and seeing who could ride in the worst possible mud hole. Only problem was Dude Boy and MUDSLIDE's wives soon put a stop to this because the beans were not getting picked and they just flat out got tired of taking those muddy old clothes down to the creek and beating the mud out with a rock.
Next thing you know Mrs. MUDSLIDE has had enough of this staying home, washing clothes, cooking and doing dishes - so - She and Mrs. Dude Boy take off riding. Ever since that time women have been equally involved in riding. If it is any consolation, MUDSLIDE, Dude Boy and the rest of the good ol boys still get together to talk about the "good ol times" and stretch the truth about getting vertical, grabbing air, slinging mud and other tall tales as only a good ol boy would understand.
Sometime not long after MUDSLIDE got the bright idea of forming a club and giving these Whatchamacallit's a name. Lemme think now, what did he call them? ATV's ?
Amphibious
Terribly frustrating but fun
Volumes of tall tales to outdo other dudes tall tales.
Lets face it, nobody ever accused MUDSLIDE of being the brightest star in the sky!!